1. The donor’s first name. No word in the English language is more important than our own name. No word has the power to capture our attention like our own name. Our name is a power word. The most important people in your life use your name: your mother, your spouse, your children, your friends, your boss.

Use the prospect’s name three times in an appeal letter. Here are the best places to use it.

• in the address heading
• in the salutation
• in a thank you sentence
•  in the ask sentence
• in the P.S.

2. You. Fundraising letters are about what the donor wants, not about what you want. Donors want to do something about problems they care about. They want their contribution to be recognized. Not, “Our generous donors helped,” but “You helped.” “You can make a difference.” “Your assistance made it possible.”

3. I. Not, “We hope…,” but “I ask you to ….” “I’d like to let you know how your money has been put to work.” “I’d like to like to tell you how much your donation has accomplished.”

4. Thank you. I know, I know—thank you is two words, but for our purposes here, I’m counting them as one. Donors want to know that they accomplished something and that you appreciate them!

5. Give. “Please give $100 today.” Or, “I hope you will continue your support by sending a gift today of $100.” Use “donate,” “make a donation,” “make a gift,” etc. You get the point! (Never use the word “support” as a substitute for the more specific “give” or “donate.”)

Using these five words will go a long way to making your letter personal and less like organization speak. A personal letter touches the emotions. An organization letter speaks to the intellect. It’s the intellect’s job to say no. It’s the emotions’ job to say yes.

Here’s a sentence that uses all five words:

Gary, your generous support of our Capital Campaign made the new Y possible. Thank you! I hope you will continue your support with a gift to our annual Reach Out Campaign.

Put these words to work for you. Remember, if one or two more people out of 100 respond, that’s a lot of help over the long run. So, details count!

P.S. Did I mention that I’m a big fan of the Y?

Download my FREE fundraising letter writing checklist.

Review this checklist each time you write to your donors. I promise it will improve your writing!

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Would you donate to a desk, if it asked you?

Remember that making a donation is an emotional decision. It’s personal, and that requires a personal appeal from you, the person the donor trusts to do good work.

So, use these three copywriter tricks to ensure your personal voice connects to your reader’s emotions.

1. Visualize the person you’re writing to.
You think that you are writing to donors. You are not. You’re writing to a donor. You’re writing to each donor individually. Don’t think about a group as you write–you’ll write impersonally. Imagine one specific typical donor, and imagine you’re writing to her.

Then you’ll write: “I need your help,” not “The museum needs your support.”

2. Make the letter from yourself–not your organization.
Don’t write a memo. Don’t use organization speak. Don’t confuse yourself with a corporation no matter how many staff you have, how big your budget is, how impressive your title is.

Read through your draft and ask yourself these questions:

• Could I replace the word ‘we’ with ‘I’?
  • “I look forward to welcoming you as a member…,” not “We look forward…”
  • “I think you’ll agree…,” not “We think you’ll agree…”
  • “I knew you would want to know…,” not “We thought you would like to know…”
  • “We couldn’t have said it better ourselves…,” becomes “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
• How many times did I use the word you or your? (Hint: Once is not enough.)
  • “I know you want to help. Here’s how.”
  • “Join your classmates…”
  • “You made these scholarships possible…”
• Can I use the recipient’s name once in the body of the text?
  • “Gary, will you renew your membership today by returning the enclosed membership card?”
  • “Gary, your gift last year was so helpful!”

3. Write like you are speaking to your friend.
This gives you a natural, direct voice. The power company, cable company, or auto dealership is not writing a personal letter. That’s what makes you different. You are writing because you share a common passion: you’re friends; fellow missionaries; comrades in the struggle; sharers of the same values; joint builders of a better world, city, neighborhood, school.

• Not “Our donors were so generous,” but “You did it! You made it happen!”
• Not “We hope that you will want to offer us your absolutely essential support and that you will consider supporting the Annual Fund this year,” but “Gary, will you send a gift of $50 today? Here’s what we’ll do with it.”

You can learn more about writing great copy from classic texts by Robert Bly, Stephen Hitchcock, and Mal Warwick, or from the websites of Bob Burdenski, Tom Ahern, and Alan Sharpe.

Still not sure you have the time or skills to write and layout the best fundraising letter? Our letter writing and editing service can help! Click here for more details.

Download my FREE fundraising letter writing checklist.

Review this checklist each time you write to your donors. I promise it will improve your writing!

Download Fundraising Letter Checklist

Use story in fundraising letters. Speak from the point of view of the potential donors.  “I was helped, and now I’m helping”.  Show what the help does.

Mailrite, Inc., can help you optimize your mailing results. Give me a call for a free consultation or a quote on your current mailing needs. Call Gary at 1-800-437-7780, ext 104, or send an email to garyh@mailritevt.com.

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